Thursday, May 10, 2012

I'm a Dreamer

I'm a dreamer, I always have been.I have big dreams for my family, my blog, my photography, my singing career... Ok so I'm never going to have a career in the music industry, or performing of any kind, for a couple reasons...number one I can't sing,or play an instrument. Even though I did teach myself Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on my husband guitar, which seems promising if you ask me. Anyways, the other reason would be because I'm way to shy, and way to critical over myself. I would never be able to see myself on TV, or hear myself on the radio. I can't even bear to hear myself on video, or on voicemail. It's one of my biggest flaws,being hard on myself.

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One thing I strive for as parent is to instill in my daughter to always be yourself, and love yourself. I want her to know who she is, and be proud, and to not care so much. Be a leader. Be an individual. Honestly I think even the most confident people in world have insecurities. They are just better at masking them. I envy people like that.
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Growing up I have always some what tried to be like other people, dress a certain way because I was trying to fit in. Probably definitely got myself in to trouble because I was tying to fit in. I have always just wanted to be liked. As I get older those needs to be liked and to fit in, start to fade away, but my insecurities are still there. Except Now I can look back and say to myself "none of that was a big deal." I wish I knew then what my life would be like now. I think it would have made me care less. Maybe be more of an individual, more of the artist that lives in me today...because I am an artist. I create, whether it being through hair, pictures, writing, or even a craft, I am and artist.

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Once you have kids you live life through their eyes. You suddenly appreciate e
very second of everyday. I find myself being taken back by beauty in things like trees. When I was younger I didn't give a crap about trees, and not that I am some sort of tree enthusiast, but simple details in your daily life become more beautiful. You love like you have never loved, and you are loved more then you have ever been loved.

Life is what you make of it... and I am a dreamer.
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1 comment:

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